Finally going east

Table of Contents

TL;DR: My first time in Asia was kinda neat and I learned a lot
The biggest yap on this blog so far.

Late October

A family friend had plans to go to Vietnam in late October. Knowing I was struggling on my job search, they invited me to go and stay with them to meet a couple of people that could potentially get me an internship/job. I’d been developing some interest in going to Asia, albeit in the context of the “hippie trail” but still this seemed like a good opportunity to expand my job prospects and discover new people, places, culture.

At that point I was waiting for a final offer from quite a large organization. I was thinking of either staying in Belgium and preparing for this new opportunity in my career, get a place close to the office, do some projects to get comfortable with their tech etc… Or putting all my chances in finding an internship/job in Vietnam (which, let’s be honest was probably going to be harder than in Belgium).

Sign the contract, big boy

A few days before the departure I got the good news, the organization was ready to accept me. I signed the contract and decided that I should still go to Vietnam anyhow, I had a new source of income lined up and no reason to be in Belgium for the remaining few weeks before my starting date. There was only upside, so I bought my tickets and got ready for my trip.

How many more flights?

I don’t mind having lots of layovers as long as it saves me money, but that’s far from what happened. My Itinerary was the following:

Belgium -> Bulgaria -> UAE -> India -> Vietnam

As this was now more of a celebratory and unwinding trip now, I had a very relaxed attitude which made for very poor planning.
I’d gotten my “Emergency Visa” for Vietnam at the hefty price of 220€, which was fine because I was excited to go on this trip. I didn’t get any other visa though because I thought that it’d be fine since my layovers were never over 16 hours long. When I got to Abu Dhabi I had about 7 hours before my next flight so I decided to look for a place to sleep, I’ve done it many times in airports but this one seemed way to clean to just lay somewhere random so I decided to go to my gate and half-sleep on a chair.

I wake up to the sounds of Indian men rushing to the gate next to mine, as it was almost time for my flight I decided to follow and find out if perhaps I was at the wrong one. This flight was indeed going to Mumbai which was my destination so I went and stayed in line. When I get to the boarding officer he asks me why I don’t have a visa, I tell him it’s just a layover that doesn’t last more than 16 hours, he didn’t seem so sure of the legislation around this so he decided to call a colleague and made me wait on the side. When he finally got here we went over the details of my trip to figure out if it was okay for me to board visa-free or not, he seemed pretty set on not letting me board the flight, and told me to figure out a way to cancel this one.

At that point I’d already been traveling for around 18 hours with little sleep so I didn’t have that much willpower left, I sat down and looked for ways to continue my trip. I did what I could in terms of cancellation but it wasn’t looking good for my refund, I accepted this as a mistake on my end and that I should’ve done some more research on visas before leaving, lesson learned.

A new itinerary

Given that India was off the table unless I was ready to wait a few days for a visa I’m not even sure would get approved, I did research on other itineraries and found this one:

UAE (current location) -> Sri Lanka -> Malaysia -> Vietnam
That’s another quick 400€ out of my pocket.

This time, before booking my flight I looked for documents stating the regulations of each respective countries’ visa laws (which is a skill that helped later on this trip as well). I needed one to enter Sri Lanka but not Malaysia! Knowing how much I paid for the emergency vietnam visa and that these procedures can take a while I started to lose hope, but I kept seraching for more information and found that the official sources state 1 to 7 business days to get a response. 1 day seemed fair enough and with my lack of options at that point this was the only sound decision, funnily enough I also found some anecdotal evidence stating that the Transit Visa could be done online and received within a few hours! This seemed to good to be true but I had nothing to lose so I sent out my application.

At 10:44 I submitted my application. At 10:50 I got a positive response!! I thought it was a mistake or a joke, this was such a beautiful moment. I booked my flights right away as the first one left at 14:00. Sri Lanka and Malaysia both seemed beautiful but I have nothing to write since I stayed in the airport and it was quite uneventful, apart from the boarding officers playing detective for some reason. They also advised me to book my return flights to Belgium, claiming that it would raise some issues with the immigration officers in Vietnam (which it didn’t).

Landing in Saigon

Finally getting to Vietnam felt nice, I didn’t have to worry about visas, immigration officers or any of that for a little while.
I got a local SIM and boarded my short flight to Hue, a small city (by Vietnamese standards) that felt very peaceful. I only spent a few days there but it was a great time, I was welcomed with open arms and it felt relatively slow-paced which I quite like.

Moving to Hanoi

After my short stay in Hue, I went to Hanoi since I had some events to attend there.
I was there by myself so I had to start meeting people if I didn’t want to start feeling lonely, my plan was to change hostels everyday until I found a cool one. I went to all the most popular ones starting with really bad ones and learning as I went how to refine my search and select for places that match my style more.

Don’t drive in Hanoi!

I got a scooter here as well which was my first time driving a motorized two-wheeler, people will tell you that driving in this city is hectic and dangerous. I never drove a scooter a day in my life and I did just fine, this is not a matter of luck either I spent the first few days just driving around because I found it so fun so I did my time on the road. I find that the drivers here are very accomodating and it’s easy to adapt to their driving, really that’s the advice I have for anyone that drives here is to adapt to their driving, that’s what makes it safe, it’s not the rules (very few follow them) or anything like that that will protect you it’s about going with the flow, just like a dancing with a partner, it’s only smooth when you are in accordance.

Maybe it’s also because I went to Kinshasa, DRC earlier this year and saw what real reckless driving looks like so I know how to be cautious.

Hanoi Rock City is the place to be

On my search for the ideal “third place” I found Hanoi Rock City (HRC), a music venue that looks perfect in every way. To me it’s the perfect third place I just wish I could’ve went there more often during my stay (I only went once, the other time I tried it was closed). On the night I wanted to go discover HRC I went to the parking spot to get my scooter and grab some mcdonald’s before going to the venue, but the woman that owned the place had put a lock on it, a local saw me looking at my scooter profusely and asked what was going on, I told him about the situation and he was able to call some people and told me to wait for her. I was glad to receive this help but after waiting for a while it seemed clear to me that I was not gonna see that lady unless I went looking for her myself.

Since I was waiting at a smokers’ spot they would come and go and that kept me occupied while waiting and I even met a mf that was down to go to the venue as well, he was a guitar player too and seemed cool enough so I decided to go back to my hostel, find someone who could translate and help me find this lady. Turns out she was just inside the house but obviously not knowing the language I didn’t want to go that far. To be honest I have nothing more to say about HRC, oh wait yes I do! There’s a guitar shop inside HRC!!!!! And the owner, they call him the “fret doctor” is a goat, this guy was doing some soldering work when I got there and we yapped about guitars for way too long, he showed me his favorite guitars and a new neck profile I had never heard of before but I already forgot the name man… they even had Guthrie Govan playing there last year and he’s gonna come back apparently!! He told me he was trying to get Yngwie as well but if you know modern Yngwie… You know modern Yngwie.

They took my scooter man…

I’ll admit I can sometimes be a rebel without a cause, I knew that I had to park my scooter in dedicated places. But for some reason I’d try to bend that rule whenever I could and just park at random spots. Sometimes I’d wake up, go to my scooter only to find out it’s being used as a stand for a storefront’s parasol or have some random guy asking to pay a fee (probably not a random guy).

This was all good and well until the day I went to get it and it was nowhere to be found, initially I thought the police took it because I was parked somewhere I shouldn’t be. I went to them and tried to figure out if it was the case, I had to get someone from the hostel to translate because the officer didn’t speak english so well which complicated the communication but we got through it and it was confirmed to not be in their possession. I end up filing a report which I don’t believe will do anything and everyone I’ve talked to said the same thing. One guy even got a call 1.5 years later when they found it.

I really don’t know why they took mine it was the cheapest thing on that street, I went to the place I rented the scooter from to see how we could settle this, he offered to take me on a ride around the neighborhood in case it was parked somewhere I hadn’t looked at but to no avail. I ended up paying 200 more euros which makes my total expenditure at that shop well over 400€. It’s fair though, it was my fault.

I like Vietnam

Vietnam was super cool, I didn’t travel out in its nature too much but it looked nice from what I saw, and my travels are more about the people than the places anyways. Sure certain places promote certain behaviors and that attracts a specific kind of people but at the end of the day, if you’ve traveled a bit and have seen mountains, beaches, jungles & forests, waterfalls etc… It’s all the same, It’s truly beautiful and I enjoy those moments just as much as the next guy but it doesn’t stimulate me as much as meeting someone I connect with. And I can say I’ve connected in Vietnam :D.
I used to like things more than people, this is something that has started to shift very recently.

Traveling in a fried-out Kombi

After a little while in Vietnam, having attended the events I had to attend. I decided to embark on an overland journey to Thailand, I really wanted to see Pai, Mae Hong Son even if just for a few days. I’d watched videos about it and it seemed like a place that still had that 60s-70s ambience.

I looked online and this seemed like the most reasonable route (the timeline was waaaaay off as we’ll see right now).

On my “final” day in Vietnam I check out of my hostel and go to a travel agency to book my first bus which would bring me to Savannakhet, a city close to the Laos-Thailand border.

What’s up with those visas man…

The woman at the front desk tells me that I need a visa, they’ve seen another guy trying to go to Laos without a visa and now he’s stuck at the border. I directly think it’s a skill issue on his part, I decide to go to a cafe next doors and start my research. I find an official document from the Laos Immigration Department stating that I don’t need one if I intend on staying less than 15 days. I show it to her, and get my ticket.

As I’m waiting for my “bus” a guy on a motorbike comes up to me and tells me he’s here to bring me to the bus. I think it’s odd but go anyways without even asking the woman if this is legit. The road with this guy starts getting quite long and I start to question myself about the legitimacy of this situation so I call the woman and she tells me it’s okay, he’s bringing me to the bus station.
We get to the “bus station” at that point we’re already 2 hours away from the planned departure time so I call the woman again to ask for more information about this and she tells me “NAH you’re on your own now” basically which is fine I already had my ticket, I just didn’t expect that but it was funny.

First loss

I finally get to my bus, which is in fact, one of many I would take on that journey. It’s a sleeper bus, I’m quite happy about that since I’ll have to spend the night in it and then some hours. As I get settled in there I pull out everything I need for a comfy coding session followed by some movies. I get to my earphones case, I remember checking my belongings before leaving my last hostel, I had my earphones case so to me earphone case equals earphones. Come to find out I had forgotten them in my last hostel and I know exactly where. So I had to come to terms with the fact that for the remainder of these alleged 14 hours, it was just going to be me and my thoughts.

Vietnam-Laos border

Where my visa research paid off.
When we got to the border, the officers weren’t being so nice. They didn’t want to let me go through, all they were checking for was a visa in your passport. So to them no visa == no entry. At that moment I thought about the guy they told me about at the travel agency, and I remember myself thinking it was just a skill issue from him. I’d downloaded the document stating I was allowed a visa-free stay of 15 days, so I pulled out my translator app and started yapping. I don’t know if he understood, or if he got too tired of me not giving up, but it worked.

Losing my contract

Since I had no entertainment in the sleeper bus I started thinking about my return back home and decided I should move close to the office I was gonna have, I’d already set everything up with cohabs I just had to choose my room and sign now.

A few minutes before I launch the app to go sign for the room of my choosing, I get a call from my recruiter. A call with terrible news, my contract’s been put on hold and by the tone of his voice I could tell this situation would never get fixed.

I had to tell cohabs my contract fell through and that I couldn’t sign. This felt kreeeeeeeeeezi bad as this whole new job and home was gonna be some sort of a fresh start, a real step into the professional world and adulthood. But things happen I guess, and through this and other events I’ve learned not to define myself by these successes and failures, but by how I come back from them.

Second loss

We stopped in Vientiane, the driver knew of me apparently and came to say that I had to transfer to another vehicle to get to Savannakhet. It was a converted pickup truck, very cool but it felt like being in the back of a UNIMOG to be honest.

With the trip getting quite long and way over what was advertised I decided to sleep in Savannakhet, in a guesthouse called Sala Thongyon the hosts were very nice and it was beautiful, we even got free breakfast!!

When I got set up in my room though I noticed something, my bracelet wasn’t on my wrist anymore! I’d built the habit of removing it when I work on the computer since it was quite chunky and bothered while typing. But this was a gift my dad got me on a trip to the DRC so this was another blow since the piece held sentimental value and looked quite good as well!

It’s okay though.

Laos-Thailand border

Quick border hop to Mukdahan, fairly chill nothing to report really.
From there I took a bus to Khon Kaen and then to Chiang Mai, btw don’t buy these bus tickets online they’re always 2x expensive for no reason.

Studio’Z

In Chiang Mai I decided to stay at Studio’Z for the sole and unique reason that I saw it on twitter once, and it was quite cheap.
I told myself that I wasn’t coming back home until I find a job. So I cancelled my flights back to Belgium and planned to stay here as long as it took. Since I knew I’d be in Thailand a bit longer than I expected, I decided to start focusing on the job search from there as well as adding a few projects to my portfolio and considering more dev-oriented roles.

Most of my nights were spent chilling with Australian stoners, and as time went on I’d spend more time with connections I’d made there. But everyone from my hostel was going to Pai, I’d meet someone one day and they’d be leaving the next. Since there were no more beds available at Studio’Z, I decided on heading to Pai, again with my poor planning habits I just expected everything to fall into place but it didn’t. I woke up on my “before last” day in Chiang Mai with the plan of buying tickets to leave the next day. Surprise surprise all buses were fully booked at every agency I went to or called, so I went to the bus station and they had spots 2 days from now. That means I’d have to stay an extra night in Chiang Mai which was fine but I was really excited to go to Pai!

Box hostel n cafe

I get there at night and low and behold the place was closed, no one to handle my check and no way to reach them as they’re outside of business hours. There are some women right next to the hostel getting ready to leave though, I look at them, they look at me. Soon enough they understand I’m a customer of the hostel and I understand that they work there! Cool, they let me in and tell me I can handle the payment later. The place looks very nice, as soon as I get to my room I meet a girl, we yap, we sleep. She’d told me she was going to an elephant place, I had nothing to do but wait for my departure date so I told her I’d join. I wake up way too early for my liking but it was for an activity so why not, we knew I had to book a ticket online but there were no spots left, I just woke up with the hope of working out a solution with the people on the spot. Turns out you can’t do that, so I went back and started coding a venue finder since it’s a product I need and I had nothing better to do.

While I’m coding, the lobby starts to get more crowded (it was only empty because I woke up waaaay earlier than everyone else). I find it harder to work so I start socializing. I meet a cool mf that was actually bikepacking through Thailand, very cool because it’s something I’ve been interested in for a while so I started asking questions (maybe too many questions). He also told me about a sport called disc golf which is something I had no clue about, I had never heard or seen anything about it but apparently it’s a big thing in America and is growing in popularity quite fast.

I meet someone else and follow her on a day trip to the Wat Phra That Doi Suthep Temple, we intended on hiking there since it was only supposed to be 1-2 hours. We were quickly met with an unpleasant surprise at the bottom of the mountain, there were no trails. We tried to walk on the road anyways but it only took us 10 minutes to realize this wasn’t a good idea as we’d regularly get large vehicles almost running us over. At that point we decided to hitchhike as we had to choose between that and giving up the temple visit. Some vehicles had paid services to bring us up but the tickets had to be purchased at the bottom. Since we’d already walked a bit, we didn’t intend on going down anymore. Finally someone stopped and took us, there were three other travelers in there and they quickly let us know this was the worst vehicle of them all, it’d only take a few seconds to realize this, the exhaust pushing out smoke darker than a whore’s heart, transmission screaming for help and frequent loss of power that made us think the pickup truck was done, every single time.

We got there eventually though, it was beautiful and we were able to see the whole city from up there. It was particularly nice to be able to see the square that surrounds the old town. They also had a meditation center which was one of the coolest places I’ve seen, I felt very relaxed and even went for a short meditation myself. It seemed that they had set up accomodation and some of the people there were residents, they wore the adequate clothing and looked like they knew what they were doing. Very monastery vibes.

It was a cool stay at Box hostel n cafe. I got ready the next morning and headed to Pai.

Pai, my nirvana

As soon as I got out of the bus, it just felt right. Pai really looked like Pai, I heard reggae left and right, bars with big open spaces that look extremely comfortable on the inside. A pace of life I could see myself adjusting to, this is obviously a touristy town but even the locals looked chill. I went to Pai river jam hostel which is a beautiful campground with lots of cabins and hammocks and everything is made out of wood and reggae is always playing and people are always chilling, you can just talk to anyone here.

I rented a bike in Pai because I knew it was quite a small city so it’d be easy to move around if I had a vehicle. It was my first real motorbike, I’d never used a clutch as previously stated the only other motorized two-wheeler I’d driven so far was the semi-automatic scooter in Hanoi. I thought it’d be hard but I got the hang of it relatively quickly, I’m far from being a good driver but I can keep myself and others safe on the road and that was enough for me, I also had a lot of fun with it. I don’t know why driving a small two-wheel vehicle going at absurd speeds for its size is pleasing but it’s just a feeling I love and a new passion I’ve discovered, mind you I never even went over 85-90 km/h I think and that already felt great so I can’t imagine what it’ll be like when I get a bigger bike.

I ended up going to the Pai canyon, beautiful place but like I said before, for me it’s about the people more than anything else so I moved around and found mfs. Two french and one thai, They were playing with a drone but messed it up so they decided to play it safe and stopped the session. I chill there for a bit, the sun starts setting and I’m getting pretty bored so I leave. There was no fuel gauge nor did I check how much gas I’d left at the bike shop, I think you can guess where this is going. On my way back to the hostel I find myself rolling the throttle without feeling any acceleration, I keep trying a few more times until I’m faced with the fact that I totally ran out of gas. The closest station is abou 2km away which would go pretty fast, if I had gas… I start walking in the bike and still try to start it here and there, I feel like it could actually start so I run with it for a bit and it works. I get a couple seconds of driving time before it shuts off again, I did this over 10 times before I finally arrived at the session thank god. Now that I had a full tank I enjoyed the ride back home and partook in some reckless driving.

You guys are cool

Getting back to the hostel I meet someone again, she had no particular plans but to eat something outside. As per usual I joined and we went to meet another mf (said mf is the homie now), we got food and planned on the way. We settled on getting a massage cause why not? Food was bomb, massage was bomb. While getting my massage I heard lots of people talking about weed and shrooms for some reason. I got out last so when I saw them again, I could’ve sworn that they were high. But when could they have gotten high if I heard them the whole time I was getting my massage?

We get out of there and start looking for a place to chill, we settle on a bar/hostel which has live music and a pool table. Very chill place and funnily enough it’s one I was particularly fond of when I saw it during the day! I’d started playing pool quite regularly in Asia so I felt I could bring something to the team with my basic level of proficiency. We played a couple games and won (I think?? I don’t remember honestly)

After that we went to another place where it was even more chill, way calmer music and it was easier to talk. We got to yapping and it was amazing, I’m surprised that a night comprised of such basic activities like, eating, massage, playing pool, talking was such a great time. It is truly one of my memorable experience of this trip, which truly goes to show that the people make the experience. I genuinely felt good just hanging out it’s something I don’t think I’ve felt for well over a decade, it was bliss. Had countless moments of uncontrollable laughter, things that didn’t need to be said but were understood and having the same ideas and talking at the same time like twins in the movies, we were able to “debate” and counter arguments with no fear of judgement, I felt pure expression took place that night. I long for moments like these. I hope I can stay in touch with these mfs.

It’s not my style

During this trip I’ve learned countless things, but one of the most notable ones is that I’m really not too fond of the party scene, the whole idea of letting loose doesn’t seem appealing to me. I’ve always known this, but as it’s a popular thing to partake in I’d never come to terms with the fact that it really wasn’t for me. But now I know, because the joy that others find in partying, I find in having genuine conversations, and debating ideas. I really like when people are there, when every word they speak is based on the environment we’re in and who’s present and what it means to them, I find that too many people go through the motions when talking to someone and it just feels like talking to a machine with pre-recorded messages. It might not be fair to judge others in this way but I’m just explaining what I like, and to articulate that well enough I think there’s a need to draw a comparison to make my points clear.

If people enjoy being on autopilot all the time, good for them. It’s just not something I can connect with. I’ve always thought that all social interactions were supposed to be draining for people like me, but in fact I discovered that it could be quite the opposite, when surrounded with the right people.

I’ve now decided to draw clear lines in the activities I decide to partake in and will adopt the phrase(s) “it’s not my style”, “it’s not my vibe”. Whenever I tell you this, just accept it.

project x

Given the previous section, this heading is terribly ironic, but I had plans to celebrate my birthday in the south of Thailand. I wanted to rent an Airbnb and create the perfect part atmosphere I’d always “dreamed” of because I think I’m not necessarily against partying it’s just that I think they’re usually done poorly and would like to create my own little world (which is deranged btw).

The bottleneck was mostly inviting people, if I wanted the party to be good I had to invite the right people. But how could I do that in such a short amount of time without giving up on quality? It was an impossible challenge, and as I felt emotionally drained I really didn’t have it in me to go looking for more people.

Emotionally drained — BKK

I’m now in Bangkok preparing my return to Belgium. Despite the bliss of Pai, I’ve tried countless times to make similar connections to no avail, which has caused a certain lack of energy. It’s not physical but I definitely feel the need to recharge. Meeting countless people and sometimes only getting to see them for a day or a few hours and then never hearing of them again feels special. It’s the potential of new relationships that eats away at your spirit, and you don’t recover until you take time for it.

I think the only ways to recover are to find people to connect with again, which is risky when you’re already low on energy, or to isolate. Now there are two kinds of isolation, one is negative where you isolate and feel bad about it because you don’t want to, but perhaps life has forced you into this position and you don’t know how to get out. The other is actually good (I think) which is what I’m doing right now, I’ve consciously decided not to get involved with other people until I feel ready (only gonna take a couple days). These past two days I’ve just been by myself, and it feels great. Just taking the time to be, without reaching for anything. Reflecting, figuring out the next steps and working through mental clutter is what I find beautiful at the moment.

The next steps

I had plans to come back home to a job, a place, and even a vehicle perhaps (I was gonna pass my driver’s license which I canceled). But now I have nothing. It’s my birthday in a couple of days (today if I decide to post this on the 19th) and I’m not sure how to feel. It could’ve been a perfect celebratory birthday but now I have nothing to celebrate. I’ve only lost time and money. But I know I’ve learned a lot here, and if I hold on to those lessons and follow through on my plans I will come back stronger!

Lessons extracted

• This trip has taught me what/who I love and what/who I don’t.
• I will work on fostering deep connections and expanding my network in natural ways.
• I now have a clear(er) direction and my thinking is sharper than ever.

A quote I made to encapsulate this trip is the following:

Good people make bad places feel right, but even perfect places can’t replace good company.